


Maladaptive Eros

by Sanoiro



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hilarity, Newspapers, Raw Pain, and
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 08:05:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14304384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanoiro/pseuds/Sanoiro
Summary: An Angel was seen in San Bernardino. Normal. Lucifer missing four appointments. Apocalyptically worrisome.





	Maladaptive Eros

**Author's Note:**

> It is what it is. It's here and there is nothing I can do about it. It's funny and tragic.

* * *

 

 

**Maladaptive Eros**

 

The paper had been delivered as always at her desk around noon. It was how she preferred it. A quick lunch accompanied by the news of the day.

The fresh ink had long dried but still offered the unique aroma her father’s fountain pen spread at the end of each month. Billing checks be damned had sent him to an early grave and that cheap plastic pen still remained. Empty and unused for the past twenty years it sat untouched in her drawer so the daily paper would have to do.

It had been four missed appointments and the headline of the morning edition when she decided a drive through the downtown L.A. madness was in order. A home call if you like. 

Perspective was an acquired skill in her field. One that took a psychologist beyond their field and thrust them into the complexity that accompanies every human soul. Perspective is also what shields a once terrifying memory with a glaze of fondness. Another with dusting worry.

Linda Martin over the years had patients who delivered calm yet eerie smiles. If you asked her what unsettled her most throughout the years when seating across her patients, she would tell you it was their smiles.

Smirks, grins and wide lopsided smiles which she had to impassively witness. Sometimes they were uncomfortable, broken, hesitant, down-right cruel. One of them was Lucifer's expectant one, once upon a night over a year ago. Raw, skinned, _innocent_. 

What do you do when the Devil smiles at you? Probably the same when he appears at your door, as it happened two weeks ago, emotionally stripped. And what do you do when you see an Angel weep? You look upwards for a sign, any sign. A Divine intervention if you are lucky, but Devil never seems to be. 

Stepping outside the elevator she was welcomed by the warm breeze from widely open windows that invaded undisturbed the minimalistic decorated space. No Lucifer, stray feathers or severed wings to be found laying around. _Worrisome_. 

“Lucifer?” Linda called tentatively ready to duck if a wing did spout out, close to her peripheral vision.

There was no answer and if she wanted, to be honest, she had not expected any. Looking between the door of his wardrobe and the balcony she opted to check the second. The sun was blazing and yet the outerior fireplace was lit. Her feathered friend had some very exotic tastes or perhaps downright Hellish ones.

“Lucifer?” A male voice demanded with an unusual edge of worry. 

“Damn it!” Linda whispered hiding in the corner between the fireplace and the balcony’s open window. The heat was now insufferable with droplets of sweat trickling down her forehead, gliding through her eyebrows and into her spectacles covered eyes.

The heavy footsteps were heard getting further away, making Linda peek carefully in the penthouse from the flapping curtains. This was her chance to achieve a quick exit. Taking off her shoes she hopped quickly towards the elevator as Amenadiel had disappeared in the penthouse’s wardrobe

“I hope he does not nick any of his brother linen again, I’ll never hear the end of it in the next session” She muttered snatching the closest liquor bottle on her harried escape. 

Damn the Devil for her late refined pallet on well-aged liquor. 

She was _just_ there when the doors refused to budge open no matter how hard she pressed the button. A slow whistle echoed in the distance when Linda realized that the cabin had just gone down and was now moving up again with obvious destination the penthouse.

Taking a fast cover behind the bar she heard the clear ruffling of linen shirts as they were disposed on the nearest chair followed by a huff of annoyance.

“Amenadiel?” Linda knew the voice but at the moment she could recognise from her hiding place the long legs walking confidently on the black floor.

Charlotte Richards hills clicked on the floor as she greeted her ironically, angelic ex.

“Have you seen this?” She demanded and the sound of a crinkled paper filled the room. _A newspaper_.

“The Angel of San Bernardino? He could have been more careful but when did Lucifer _ever_ listen to me? ” Amenadiel sighed in frustration.

“Wait she _knows_?” Linda appeared behind the bar, newspaper clasped under her right armpit and a very expensive liquor bottle cradled in her left hand.

The jiggling alcohol bubbled as Linda took a glass and poured a healthy portion while casting a death glare on the now squirming Ameandiel.

“Is she…?” Rolling her lean shoulders for effect under her couture blazer, Charlotte sent a knowing glance at Linda’s way.

“You- _She_ torched me!” Linda growled between her gulps before refilling her glass.

“That’s disturbing and _yet_ it makes a lot of sense.” Charlotte admitted rubbing her once prickled hand.

“ _Ladies_ can we focus on the newspaper at hand. Like _literally_!” Amenadiel waved his copy before setting it open on the piano.

Both women approached the instrument reading the already familiar glaring headline. A human was claiming an Angel had appeared. A _winged_  Guardian Angel.

“Any luck it was a condor?” Linda asked hopefully knowing very well the slim possibility she was suggesting.

“ _Endangered_ in California and what are the chances of one them having -the woman said and I quote- a pair of 23ft _luminous_ pearly _white_ wings?” The Angel scratched his beard in thought knowing that his brother was responsible for this report.

“So where is he now?” Charlotte wondered out loud looking around the penthouse.

“Imagine a ten-year-old with wings and unlimited credit. Only Father knows and he will _kill_ me for this.” Amenadiel lamented in horror, understanding dawning on him.

“I lost Lucy on Earth. Again!” Taking Linda’s half empty glass from her hands he proceeded on draining it.

Silence dropped heavily at the penthouse as the two women watched Amenadiel hyperventilating. Another thing Linda knew was possible through Lucifer's _not_ so infrequent ranting when something troubled him deeply.

“What are you all doing here?” A woman interrupted their assembly looking suspiciously each and every one of them.

Preoccupied with realizations and irrational fears all three had been too focused on the absence of Lucifer to notice the elevator which had just brought a new guest in the penthouse. A very grim and ashen looking Detective.

Linda put the paper in front of her like a guard to Chloe’s calculating gaze. At loss of words the Doctor glanced at the paper she was holding before reading the first thing that her eyes landed on.

“ _Horoscope_. Leo:  Group activities, perhaps with a social, ecological, or humanitarian focus, could take place today somewhere in your neighbourhood, Leo. You might decide to attend with your romantic partner. You could encounter some friends in the process, and all of you could well be caught up in the excitement generated by those in the spotlight. Listen well and think about what you learn today. It might... make a difference in your future.” Linda recited dutifully the paper’s section never meeting Chloe’s eyes in the process.

"Damn! He _is_ a Leo..." Linda breathed searching quickly for her forecast. 

“I thought he was a Scorpio. Amenadiel-” Chloe tried to ask him only for the large man to shuffle through the pages of the open paper before presenting the Detective with one.

“Stocks! Down seven percent today. Investments matter even for my philander brother Detective Decker.” The not so formidable man anymore said smugly winking at the softly huffing at the ridiculousness of the situation, Linda.

“That’s... the _funeral’s_ section.” Chloe squinted her eyes at the immediately snatched away paper.

“No, that’s the back of the relationships column!" Amenadiel chuckled uncomfortably eyes racing over the Ask Sandra page. 

"It's a pretty good one listen to this: I think my fiancé is a...  _fraud_. No.  _I meant_ , A match made in Heaven or...  _Hell?_  No! She wants a baby… _Father!_ I swear it was here somewhere” Spreading the pages over the piano again Amenadiel proceeded on ignoring the three women as he searched for what Linda knew was a non-existent article piece.

“Next time try Oprah!” Came her caustic reply as she rolled her eyes.

“She is a Goddess!” Amenadiel gasped affronted at her indirect accusation.

“Well, you would know Mama's Boy.” Linda retorted eyes lingering on Charlotte who stopped searching for an appropriate page to show at Chloe.

“Charlotte what-“ Chloe tried again only to be presented with yet another page of the paper.

“Sudoku for experienced solvers. He is a solver, I mean a _consultant._  And...  _experienced_?” She asked with uncomfortable hesitation Linda on the last part.

“Horoscope, Stocks, Ask Sandra and Sudoku? I thought he would have liked the headlines better. That nonsense is all over the news. An _Angel_ really?” Chloe snorted inflicting several forced high pitched laughter from them all.

“We are on family therapy day so no metaphors allowed today.” Linda explained to the perplexed Chloe who seemed to have regained some of her colour since entering the penthouse.

“So he is unavailable today? That’s _good._ For him. I meant for _him_ and I- Just he has been, o _ff_ lately you know?” Chloe blabbed, hands wildly gesturing around before nervously she fixed her high ponytail again and with a nervously delivered bye got back to the elevator pressing the button to the Bar.

"Bye." Charlotte waved back, hand over her obviously wildly beating heart. She was so new into this as Linda had once been. 

“A Leo really?” Amenadiel said breathlessly in relief.

“It fits.” Charlotte agreed, proceeding on collapsing along with Linda on the nearest couch, each cradling a pillow for support.

A low snorting filled the room before the bell-like clanking of metal and a loud thud made everyone look upwards. 

"There you are." Linda breathed in relief before noticing all the little details. 

Up at the bookcase rail laid Lucifer. Dishevelled covered in grim, shirt open and untacked as every inch of him was littered with scratches. His hair always so meticulously combed for the day, fell flat on his forehead barely hiding the swollen red-rimmed eyes. 

Previously pure white wings were now marred in dirt, dry leaves and speckles of blood. One of them was dangled in a weird angle but it seemed to be slowly healing as the low crackling noises and his almost inconspicuous shifting indicated.  

"Isn’t she lovely?" Lucifer whispered in a delirium of giggles and agonised breath intakes. 

What else was broken except from his heart? A rib? A hand? Linda thought as she watched the man nursing his left side before he exhaled a long painful sob. 

"Brother what did you _do_?" Amenadiel forlornly asked him carefully climbing up the bookcase stairs. 

A series of swallowed sobs followed as Lucifer covered his mouth, head wildly shaking left and right. 

"I don't know. I don't _know_!" 

  
  
The End

**Author's Note:**

> The horoscope was taken verbatim by a site yesterday night. I was surprised how well it fit Lucifer in 3x20... I mean wow...
> 
> There are many theories as to how 3x20 will begin and this is not one of them. This is a more tragic approach. I foresee Lucifer in his robe, dirt covered hands waking up and not knowing why as Amenadiel visits him at the Penthouse. That's, of course, spoiler based speculation so...


End file.
